The Art of the Ask
There are countless books and online resources out there that deal with the art of selling. It’s an important skill, and if you get good at it, the sky’s the limit.
But that’s just one half of it. The other side of the coin is just as important. That is, there is a world at your fingertips for those who learn how to ask.
Ask away
If there is any takeaway from this post, it’s hopefully this: Ask away! Do ask. It’s amazing how much we can get done if we actually just ask for what we want from people. In a way, this is a little like selling, but here, the pain points are offset from when we are in pitch mode.
When we sell something, we have to open the prospect’s mind to hearing and feeling what we are saying. This is hard to do, as you have to be a part mind-reader, part mind-melder. The more you can trick your prospect, the more successful the outcome of the pitch will be.
When asking, on the other hand, it’s really yourself you have trick. You have to trick yourself into accepting that:
- you need help;
- you are powerless without others; and
- there will be no apologies.
Now, not all people are alike. Some have huge egos, or were groomed in a culture where showing that you are weak in any capacity, is an embarrassment. For those, asking will be hard.
A playbook
The number one rule is ‘ask away!’ Get over yourself, and actually do it. Don’t wait till the last minute to have the courage to ask. Do it early, often: get that feedback as soon as possible. Like it is with selling, you get better the more you do it. So get started right away!
Rule number two is to ‘pitch the ask.’ Don’t come to the table unprepared, come as you would an architect to his first sit-down: have your blueprint plans, roll them out, have all the numbers angles and logic clearly laid out, and run the meeting. Don’t whine, though there is a place to appealing with pathos. (You are in a sense, selling your ask, after all.)
The final rule is believe naively in a positive outcome. You must believe that those you ask won’t shut you down. Like a child wanting that amazing toy for their birthday, so must you hold a burning fire of desire from everyone you have come to ask. Don’t reason, use logic, or analyse. Rather, just believe good things will come of it. And keep believing until you get what you want.
With these few heuristics, and with the courage to plow ahead and ‘ask away!’ it’s amazing what fish will jump into your boat. And once that happens, you’ll be kicking yourself to not have gotten started sooner. Thankfully, once those gears are rotating, you can keep that momentum going and ask for things beyond what you need. It’s a powerful tool, and a bit of an art. But if you master the ‘art of the ask,’ you’ll be driving in the fast lane for the rest of your life.